2:48 p.m. - 2021-04-09
Glass half empty
That last entry was... fairly optimistic.
I haven't been being completely honest maybe because I don’t want to be an asshole, or because I actually am trying to paint a perfect picture of how things are for me romantically.
I’m currently I’m FL, but am triggered enough to write in here again. I feel like I do like B. But also it’s like... are we meant to be? Idk.
Like honest answer, idk.
There’s just a disconnect. It’s like I go above and beyond and do all these things and “participate” in all these events. And it’s like. I feel as if not only am I an outsider but I’m just like... not relevant at all. And I will never be “into” car shit because he will never let me he into it. Period.
And the things I actually am into? Forget about it!
Between his resistance with my diet, ditching bc, being attracted to everything in sight and just the disrespect honestly.... sometimes I’m over it.
Can a vacation really fix things?
I just feel like I wanted to have fun here but it’s like I’m not here. And it’s as if I’m not allowed to enjoy the party. I WANT to enjoy the party with the person I’m dating, maybe we’re just too different.
This is changing my opinion on everything. Is marriage necessary? Is it even fun if you don’t have kids? Is there a point? Do I really wanna tie myself down at 29 for the rest of my life? Idk.
Ugh
Xo
